I’ve always been hyper aware of my visibility. Brown skin, broad shoulders, 6’1. Always felt the world was watching. That feeling caused me to shrink myself. If not in my size, but in my exploration of figuring other ways I could blend in. This took place in my clothes, neutral colors, but also my product. It wasn’t until recently I’ve been able to define or find reason to my comfortability of average. Mediocre people don’t stand out. They don’t get corrected or called out, they blend in. The truth is, going with the grain is playing it safe; it’s crowded, but safe. The problem with shrinking yourself to fit in is that you never feel comfortable, (I’m not referring to the good kind of discomfort when you’re trying something new and growing outside of your comfort zone). I’m referring to the kind of discomfort that stunts your growth, that isn’t conducive to your improvement or increase. Where the weight of the things you didn’t ask for rests so heavily on your chest that you can’t catch a full breath and in the midst you realize your reality is the sum of your choices; and in the same half breath Ross Geller’s voice loudly whispers “PIVOT.” Sending a reminder to you that you can be everything you want, just not at the same time. Reminding you that you have the power to change the direction of your life, decide who you want to be at any given moment. Do you remember?  Who you wanted to be before you were told who you were? Going with the grain feels like it’s easier, but just being yourself, taking up and creating space for you is what will come naturally. 

Blogger, Inner-standing, Note to self, dear diary,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s