Godfidence

I have been experiencing such a plethora of synchronicities in the past few weeks. I would acknowledge them, feel their presence and then carry on with the rest of my day. My life. Because I don’t feel like I am on the right path, I don’t feel confident in what my future will look like. I’ve failed this test about 6 times and the deadline keeps getting extended, so I take it as a sign that I shouldn’t give up. That I should keep studying- so I do. But then I fail it again. To be denied by something you have invested so much of your time in is discouraging.

What I’m saying is, even though I feel I am imploding internally, I can’t deny all of my synchronous encounters; whether it is the connections within books I’ve randomly started reading or the message of sermons I have come across.

Even people who have been placed in my life at what feels right the right time. My best friends husband sends me titles of books that he knows I need to read, and it isn’t as if we talk every day or I frequently confide in him; he just sends them. I told him about these synchronicities I have been experiencing, how I am torn with how I feel but what I am noticing, he tells me:

“It’s difficult to trust our intuition and the universal guidance we receive because we were never really taught to. That’s what I feel synchronicities are; guidance to let you know you’re on the right path although you may not be able to completely see the outcome yet.”

I remember I thought I was ready to pull out of the Walgreens parking lot, but took my foot off the brake and kept my car in park as I reread the message. It hit a chord—okay more like 3.

As a religious person, I have this anological switch in my mind. Universe is to God as synchronicities is to faith. It is my faith that keeps my eyes open, that keeps me listening—because it is there, all of it. I believe I already have everything I need in life to take me to the next level. Godfidence. I have been marinating in the thought that, “God said weapons wouldn’t prosper against us, he never said they wouldn’t form. ”Just because I have this faith, this trust, this Godfidence, I am not immune to troubles, if anything I am more prone because I have the competency to withstand tribulations. It’s when I think I’m spiritually balanced and have read enough of the bible, watched enough of the sermons and meditated enough when I can feel the Godfidence being drained out of me. I need constant replenishing- the world is filled with so many distractions and it is so easy to get pulled in the wrong direction without that recurring replenishment of Godfidence maintaining my balance within the strength and guidance of his word.