to freedom,

I know that I am in my period of solitude, and I believe God put me here with every intention for me to grow. Bloom where you are planted. I feel less of myself here, I’m negative, emotional, lonely, if I sit in silence, no tik tok, no live stream, I cry… Sometimes, hysterically.

There are somedays I believe this is exactly why I needed this year of solitude… to breathe.

Imagine that walk into your house after a long day feeling…undoing your knotted slick back, unlatching your bra, unbuttoning your pants to let your gut just be!

Behind these walls I don’t have to be who I’m supposed to be, I don’t have to keep it together, suck it in, balance my tears on the ducts. For the first time in my life, I’m in solitude.

A space where I let myself feel. Without worrying who is going to knock on my door or hear my cry through the walls.

A space where I let myself feel. I crank up the tunes and dance around MY apartment in my silk robe to my favorite sing-a-longs, from 2010s to the early 90s—because I can.

I’ve never seen walls so freeing,

Within them, I was reminded that it’s okay to feel. It’s actually normal… I think playing with androids almost drains the humanness out of us. At any given moment—even beyond the walls of my apartment—it’s okay to be happy, sad, upset, fearful, fearless. As long as you are feeling, at the end of the day, we’re spirits having a human experience and we are so much more than who we think we are supposed to be.  

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